I love you but I must say goodbye – Walking on Cars
You know what wrecks my head? One of the things in life that I still struggle to comprehend… losing people. I am the kind of person that tries so bloody hard to be a good person and a good friend yet the people I was once closest to are now gone. That’s pretty hard to digest. It’s almost impossible to remember such good people without wishing things were the same. I know it may be a childish notion to hope for things to remain unchanging and for people to stay loyal but I know it would make life better in some ways. I miss them so very much. Life goes on but I can’t help questioning how much they really cared, if they ever did.
A few nights ago I had to deal with a very delicate family emergency. I was the one that had to step up and deal with things. Be the strong one for everyone else, be calm, smart and decisive. I realised then that everything had changed. My Mom, aunts and uncles all used to treat me like I was still a child but now I’m the carer and the protector. I always hated that treatment anyway so the change is welcome yet the pressure felt immense. I was out all night until about 5am and ended up in two different hospitals. Trying, helping, in any way I could.
Things are constantly changing so why is that so hard to deal with? Why do I want to hold onto some parts of the past and never let go? It’s a good life that we are all living but the obstacle course is quite a challenge.
Comments on: "Missing you, family emergencies and changes" (2)
I do hope everything turned out okay. I’ve been in the same situation, having to be a protector and caretaker. Good thoughts your way
LikeLike
Things are starting to look up now. Hopefully the coming weeks will bring further improvement.
Thank you so much for your kind words. 🙂
I hope you’re doing okay
LikeLike