An Irish Lesbian's thoughts and observations…

Archive for August, 2014

Ireland Loves It’s Gays! Does Your Country?

A Gallup poll which aimed to assess the countries of the world and their attitude towards LGB people has ranked Ireland as number six and I have to admit I’m pretty impressed with that! 75 percent of people agree that Ireland is welcoming and friendly towards Gays and Lesbians. This survey collected answers from over 100,000 people from 123 different countries.

Here’s the top six…

First place – the Netherlands
Second place – Iceland
Third place – Canada
Fourth place – Spain
Fifth place – United Kingdom
Sixth place – Ireland

The biggest surprise for me was that the United States was voted into the 12th spot with 70 percent of those surveyed declaring the States to be gay friendly. Are you surprised by your country’s ranking? Do you think this accurately reflects the world as it is today? I’ve been thinking a lot about Ireland’s attitude recently and I have been giving this little country credit where it’s due because we are making progress here and our residents are opening their arms wider in welcome to increasing numbers of lgb people coming. We still have a long way to go before we reach complete acceptance but I’m grateful for how far we have already come.


Light Shines Even In Our Darkest Moments


This was the sky here yesterday evening. It’s so beautiful! The sky amazes me. It’s so complex yet it still connects us all together and while we may not see the moon at the same time it is still up there above us all. It’s waiting to shine hope during the darkest of times.

It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light. – Aristotle Onassis.

Poem – Magic

Away from you, even for a moment, I become a fading shade of a better me
Clinging to the wisps of your scent still lingering sweetly
Finding you in my arms, so warm, a fire I dare to tame
Our mouths and eyes open to echoe thoughts the same
My heart beats as ink flows through my very core
My mind whispers words that messily spill as you pour
Lips collide to lay foundation to our future together
Your scent cradles me as it softly dances. You’re my ever better.

I Have A Gay Confession To Make!

I’ve a confession to make about my lesbian life… I’ve never been to a gay bar. Ever. Not once.

It’s not because I’m not interested in going to one. Well, I suppose that’s partly it because the gay bars here aren’t very gay. Gay friendly would sum it up much better because it’s mainly hen nights and fag hags that fill the bars here each weekend.

I must also tell you all that I can name at least five gay bars that have closed down throughout Ireland over the past few years. Why are they closing? Apart from the obvious answer to that question (lack of customers), I really don’t know. For whatever reason the LGBTQ community’s love of going to a gay bar has seriously declined over the past few years. Some might suggest that this is happening because we are more welcome to be open in most night clubs and pubs. Personally I’d totally disagree with that statement for so many reasons. I still hear of circumstances of discrimination and homophobia at least once every few months so surely there is still a gap in the market for the safe haven that is a gay bar? If you are actually lucky enough to find a gay gay bar.

The closest gay bar to me was over an hour away by car. I say was because it’s one of the ones that’s bitten the dust now. That hour would not be an easy or cheap trip for someone like me who doesn’t drive so to make this awkward and expensive journey to a bar filled with straight ladies that happens to have a pride flag hanging outside it just doesn’t sound worth it to me. If I could find a bar that fulfills the expectations I had for so many years after watching The L Word and Queer as Folk then I would be very impressed and I would definitely be there!

Dublin Pride was brilliant, in my opinion, but I was only seventeen when I was at it so sticking around in the hopes that I’d gain access to one of the clubs Dublin has to offer didn’t make sense back then. So if Pride can be so loud and proud with it’s numbers growing each year but gay bars are disappearing rapidly does that mean that our community is simply becoming more comfortable with the idea of fading away and blending into the background? Are we now satisfied with just having that one day to show our colours before we return to our daily lives? I was asked if it is even necessary to segregate ourselves from the heterosexual community with Prides and exclusive bars. Honestly, I don’t see it as segregation or exclusivity. I would love to see Ireland have a strong LGBTQ scene that includes a few good bars for lesbos like me who just wanna have fun! It’s still not fully accepted for a couple like us to actually act like a couple in public so until that day arrives I will happily tell everyone that I think it’s necessary for us to have gay bars and prides and festivals that allow us to be ourselves. It’s just disheartening to have to travel so far to actually get the opportunity to be ourselves but I still would hate to see that opportunity completely fade away even if it is only an opportunity to be in a gay friendly atmosphere rather than a full LGBTQ experience. I may go to a gay bar one day and if I ever do you can expect a full review! For now I’m fairly happy to be one half of the lesbian couple that seems to stand out so much in our small town but I’ll still be dreaming of a camped up, butched out, drag filled bar.

I Nominate You To Be Positive!


These little sticky notes are not only cute but are inspirational also. If we could take away even half of the judgement out there, even a bit of our own self hatred and even a portion of the insults so easily thrown around, life could get so much better. I felt myself getting a bit down recently but I fought against the urge to drown in misery. My life is good and I know that. Sometimes we just need a reminder of how lucky we are. .

I have a few wonderful people in my life. I don’t struggle a lot financially. I have a nice home in a decent area. I am lucky enough to be reasonably healthy. I have fought against those who have done wrong to me by using the legal system and I won.

Those five sentences are just a sample of the things that make me feel like I have a lot to be thankful for. I saw that a friend of mine on Facebook was nominated to post five positive things about her day everyday for five days. I thought it seemed like a pretty cool idea. If anyone is up for the challenge feel free to go for it! Let me know if you do decide to do it. I’d love to follow your trail of positivity! Everyday I log onto Facebook and read at least half a dozen bad news stories after a mere few minutes of scrolling and every time my page refreshes there’s more waiting to be read. So, consider this my nomination to anyone who’s up for the challenge: I nominate you to reveal five positive things about your day for five days. Good luck if you decide to take this on and please feel free to nominate others too, if you like. ❤

My Health Crisis and Nightmare Week

It’s Friday and while most people breathe a sigh of relief at the end of the week I am actually totally relieved and absolutely exhausted. When my aunt fell ill and had to begin her revovery in intensive care we didn’t realise just how much it really afffected us all. We discovered that she has a brain aneurysm which also means that we are all in danger of having brain issues. My great grandmother, my mom’s uncle, my uncle and now my aunt have all had issues and because of my own personal headache issues I am apparently in particular danger. I’ve had regular headaches since I was 13 which have intensified throughout the years. I don’t usually draw attention to them but now I think is the time to do just that. I have to get tested as soon as possible according to the doctor today. A CT angiogram will be used to detect any possible brain issues I may have such as clots, an aneurysm or a tumor. That news was hard to digest and while it’s my decision either I get tested or not, my family are strongly encouraging me to do so. If something is discovered in a scan they may not do anything about it depending on size, etc but I can’t help but feel like I would be considered as a ticking time bomb if I did have something wrong with me. I honestly don’t know and I’m not sure if I want to know any exact statistics on the likelihood of there actually being anything wrong with me but, as the doctor said, it’s just a matter of who’s next in our family to get a brain problem of some kind. It’s kinda scary to be honest because it’s beyond my control and I guess I’m finding it difficult to decide if I want to know if anything is wrong. It would change a lot of things if I found out that I, like my aunt, actually do have an aneurysm that could burst at any time despite the careful monitoring that they are offering. It’s still not a guarantee that everything will be okay. My aunt is still not “okay” right now but apparently the aneurysm was what put her in intensive care in the first place.

That’s the news that this week brought me and unfortunately I have no idea what to do yet. All the medical jargon and decisions are quite overwhelming but I’m still here smiling and supporting everyone else. Fuck, this is hard! I know every family has it’s health problems but we never realised that ours was so big until now. Cherish everything and everyone. You never know how much time you have here.

Lesbians Love Coffee But What Does It Say About You?


I was scrolling through Facebook earlier today when a post appeared from about coffee and what your hot drink of choice says about you. Following on from The Planet’s popularity in The L Word and the fact that many of their general social activities revolved around coffee drinking I have found myself noticing that lots of us lesbians really love coffee. I’m a mocha fan myself or maybe cappuccino if for some reason I can’t get a mocha. A coffee and a chocolate chip muffin = bliss! They somehow taste even better after a long day. I’d actually like a personalised travel coffee mug. Hmmm *writes a note on to-do list*. Coffee connects people on a sober level that alcohol fails to achieve. The kettle is boiling as I type because who can resist another mocha, right? Are you tempted? Can you smell the scent of relaxation? If you’re not a coffee lover – sorry for boring you. All of you coffee loving ladies can consider this post dedicated to you and your taste buds.

The following is the personality traits apparently associated with each of the most common coffees according to The Irish Coffee Council and Amárach Research. These two organisations conducted a survey which aimed to discover which coffee people in Ireland, in particular, enjoy the most as well as what your favourite says about you! I don’t fully agree with the descriptions my favourites have been given but they are reasonably accurate, I guess. Does yours match your personality?

The survey also looked at different types of personality along with the types of coffee which people expressed a preference for…

Americano drinkers tend to be crowd-pleasers who are generally considered out-going and sociable. They actively seek out new personal engagements and thrive in groups. However, they are more likely than others to be somewhat moody and unpredictable with their emotions.

Cappuccino is the most popular coffee choice and the people who drink this style of coffee are full of life, energy and positivity. Cappuccino drinkers are likely to be seen as kind and considerate.

Latte drinkers tend to be more reserved than others, preferring to create close personal relationships in intimate settings rather than socialising in larger groups. They are also seen as helpful and generous with their time.

Coffee drinkers who add a sprinkle of chocolate to their coffee of choice seek out new experiences and love to meet new people. They tend to be spontaneous and prefer to take the world as it comes!

Espresso drinkers are notably different to other coffee drinkers. Espresso drinkers tend to be disorganised and spontaneous. They enjoy their own company and enjoy thinking, exploring their thoughts and feelings. They are introverted but they have no difficulty speaking with others, they just prefer their own company, finds the survey.

Alesbianspeaks Wants To Speak To You!

I get that a lot of people often need someone to talk to because they have something on their mind or simply feel lonely. Often it is actually someone you don’t know that can help you the most. I’m no counsellor but I can be a friendly ear. So, if you wanna chat feel free to message me at! 🙂

I’ll reply asap (time zones can get in the way of instant responses). Also, I was considering uploading a picture of myself in a password protected post so this is also the email address you will need to contact me for that password. I’ll let you guys know if and when that post appears.

Being a lesbian is just a part of me but it’s one of the best parts plus it means I get to connect with so many other people from the LGBT rainbow. I often feel like shouting lezbefriends ‘coz I’m not a bit cheesy! For now I’ll keep sharing and reading with you all. Take care of yourselves and have fun!

Love Knows No Gender Race Or Colour


A sketch I did a while back. I’m not the best artist but I did enjoy doing this drawing. Love knows no gender, race or colour. Love is love in it’s simplest form.

Come Out And Join Me?

I’ve been reading a lot recently about people struggling with their sexual orientation and finding it difficult to come to terms with everything that accompanies coming out. I decided to tell you a little about what helped me…

Has being a lesbian changed who I became? Maybe it has. Did coming out mean that people treated me differently? Perhaps. I hate to sound like a constant ray of positivity because, believe me, I’m not but I have learned from my experiences so I want to help you all learn too. A few months after I came out I went to an event in Galway that had dozens of LGBT people, both young and old, there. It was strange but exciting to be thrown into this massive crowd of people that were about to surround me for the next two days. It was that weekend that changed everything for me. I was sixteen and in the presence of LGBT teens, adults, hotel staff and youth workers. I was amazed! The then President of Ireland even made an appearance. I hugged the lovely Mary McAleese while trying my damn best not to whack her with the crutches I had to use at the time. It was just my luck that I sprained my ankle the night before this trip. I have a habit of visiting A&E before most of the big events in my life… Murphy’s Law, I suppose? We exchanged coming out tales, had a laugh together and I even kissed a girl and had to totally agree with Katy Perry. The most interesting thing was that we were all at totally different stages of coming out so we could all inspire each other in different ways. Despite what their friends, parents, peers, colleagues or anyone else had said they were still here to say that life got better. Many of them even told me that they felt that being gay actually made them stronger.

What I learned from the experience was that… stereotypes in our little gay world are not as common as you’d think; they are just more visible, our community can often be overwhelmingly supportive and we are a very fashionable bunch! The best thing, for me, was that I returned home with a whole new group of friends and a new outlook on life. There’s something empowering about seeing that people are genuinely happy being lesbian, gay, bi, trans or whatever they may be. It’s almost like seeing proof that it’s okay to be you. We don’t all get to go on a big gay weekend but consider this blog and WordPress itself to be your one! Here we are all different ages, from different countries and have been through different things in our lives but we all share the unity of sharing the LGBT umbrella. It’s definitely okay to be LGBT and it’s never something you need to change. It’s simply you. I saw so many people happy in their own skin and I see that here too. I really do feel for the people who are struggling with their identity but at the same time I want to emphasise that it really can and does get better. I struggle with a lot of stuff but my identity is luckily no longer an issue for me. Feel free to comment with your thoughts, experiences or problems. I love hearing from you all!

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