An Irish Lesbian's thoughts and observations…

Posts tagged ‘relationships’

Fancy me, love me or just want to tick a box?

As a younger lesbian. I was unashamedly flattered when someone expressed an attraction towards me. It felt amazing to know that someone was interested in me and that I was the person on their mind. Recently, however, it was said to me that many lesbians just develop a crush on the lesbians they encounter simply because they are a new conquest. Basically this person believes that lesbians have an uncontrollable desire to follow this kind of a pattern…

1). They zone in on their latest prey.
2). They obsess relentlessly over this person.
3). They kiss/ have sex with/ date this person.
4). Then move onto the next person with great ease.
5). They don’t spare a second thought to said person ‘cos real feelings for them never existed.

WHAT??!! Is this true girls? I’ll admit, I was the type of person who tried not to become invested in relationships because I was afraid of being hurt but this concept just seems unbelievable to me. Do any lesbians actually actively pursue such a lifestyle even throughout adulthood? I hope I’m not coming across as judgemental. I just wanted to know if people do this often because we all want to settle down sometime or at least be in a concrete relationship so how does one follow the above steps with such determination for a long period of time?  Fun is fun and a crush can be short or long lived. That’s fine. Relationships, one night stands, random kisses, they are all a part of life and growing up and I get that. What I don’t get is how someone can be so immune to love and heartbreak. I was once happy to kiss anyone that I had even the slightest attraction to because it was ‘just a kiss’ and I made it clear that it would not go further than that and develop into ‘something more’. Does that mean I even partially took part in the lesbian ritual of unemotional encounters or was it just a part of growing up? There should be a handbook on this stuff. I may have been the object of someone’s affection or I may have been simply a target. Sounds like such a strange theory.

Any thoughts on this? Do you know of anyone who indulged in such behaviour or have you done it yourself? Do you have a crush on anyone right now?

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