Why I’m starting to hate shopping…

There’s no denying that we live in a very money driven world. In every shop there’s dozens of items for sale that we really don’t need yet are constantly bought anyway. On every sale day there’s people fighting for the best price for more and more items. I’m guilty of buying unnecessary items too of course. I’m sure we all are. Recently however I had a thought that I really disliked. I actually got sad that I didn’t have more money. I got annoyed that so many items are so difficult to afford and that coping financially isn’t easy for me. Maybe I was having these feelings because of the commercialism of the festive season or maybe it was just niggling at me anyway but I definitely didn’t like being annoyed
about something which is technically so fickle. I have a roof over my head, enough clothes and enough food so isn’t that good enough?

I always try to operate under the rule of “A bargain isn’t a bargain unless you are going to use it” but sometimes I mess up in the heat of the moment. I see something, it fits and feels good on and then I realise that I don’t need another t shirt or when am I even going to wear this shirt anyway? I found myself thinking a few months back that I needed a pair of shoes ‘in case I ever need them’. What? If I need them I’ll get them then, simple. We are constantly being bombarded by ads telling us we need the latest technology and the newest clothes. No, you don’t. Buy whatever you really want and if that happens to be the latest technology then great, off you go, but if not then save yourself some money and stick to what you have because if you’re aiming to keep up with the latest trends then you’ll eventually start to feel like you’re just going around in circles. My best advice to you on this issue is to just try not to let money bring you down. Don’t allow yourself to feel bad about something that doesn’t really matter at the end of the day.

Spend more time with those you love doing what you love and I’m sure you’ll feel way better than you did chasing items you think you’ll love.

Take care guys,
Alesbianspeaks

Follow Your Dreams, Not Someone Else’s

I was inspired to write this post because schools and colleges are back in action this month and some people may be feeling the way that I was.

I’ve been pretty hard on myself recently. I found myself feeling like I was under pressure to change myself and my life or to achieve something more. I felt like I wasn’t good enough, beautiful enough or as much fun as other people. I even felt like people were looking down upon me because I don’t have as much money as them. I blamed other people in my mind for instilling these feelings within me but I was wrong. The only person to blame is myself and the high expectations I actually have for myself.

Every time I heard someone say “X is starting this course soon” or “Bla bla’s daughter has gotten a promotion” it felt like a personal attack. I viewed these flippant comments as digs towards me. In my head they translated into “They are doing better than you!”. I was being ridiculously harsh with just a hint of paranoid thrown in just to make myself feel a bit worse.

People are proud of me because of who I am and what I do not because I’m like other people. Nobody wants me to be like anyone else because that’s the whole point of being you – you’re obviously unique. I volunteer my time often, I do not judge people, I have two qualifications already and I’m working on getting more, I write regularly for Gaelick (check them out, it’s an Irish lesbian website), I have a successful marriage and I’m good to my family. I’m a good person and that counts for a lot more in my opinion than a degree or an expensive car. What fun is a car if no one is in it with you anyway? That glamorous house will be very empty without life to fill it.

The mistake I made was comparing myself to others and what they’re doing or what they have. That’s them and their choices, not mine. Even if I got the same job as them or the same qualifications it doesn’t mean I would be as happy as them because it’s not what I want to do. I’m sticking to setting my own goals in life. My reflection is way too hard on me but I told that wench to back off. I’m being the best me I can be and that should be good enough.

Pre-birthday appreciation time

It will be my birthday in a few days and, like every year, I feel so grateful to be alive. With every struggle that I overcame in life I became stronger and grew into the person I am today. I love life and all of its nasty and wonderful surprises. To celebrate life and my happiness, I would like to share five of the many things I am grateful for right now before I get back to complaining again soon…

1. I am grateful for the loyalty and support of my family. Throughout the hardest times in my life they were right there, in my corner, no matter what happened. I was a very depressed child and teenager which wasn’t exactly easy for them to handle at times but even now they still do everything they can for me. My aunts and uncles are like extra parents. Sure, that means that when I did something wrong I wasn’t just facing one lecture but on the plus side I was never short of someone to give me advice.

2. My darling wife. She has been right by my side while I faced some of my greatest challenges. I never thought I would love someone the way I love her. She is the one that has the power to lift my mood and warm my heart. Her happiness means the world to me and I would do anything for her. I have never said that about a girlfriend before which is what makes her special enough to now be my wife.

3. My health is better than it ever was. In 2009 and 2010 I spent a lot of time in hospital or at my doctor’s which resulted in my school work suffering. I wasn’t overjoyed with my exam results in the end but I still got above average results which I can now see as the achievement it was.

4. I feel so lucky to be at the stage of my life where I no longer value material possessions as much as some of my peers seem to. I have enough of what I need and want so that is good enough for me. Too many people get down about not having the best clothes, electronics, etc but these things really don’t matter. After you get that expensive item you so desperately desire then what happens? Will you actually feel happier? Will people actually like you more? I suspect that the answer to these questions is no so why allow mere items to consume your thoughts so much?

5. I truly appreciate the presence of animals in my life. Many of my baby pictures feature our pet dogs, my birthday photos always include my furry friends and I believe that they are fantastic listeners! You can guarantee that they will keep your secrets and will not laugh at your mistakes. Animals are, without a doubt, amazing friends.