An Irish Lesbian's thoughts and observations…


We’ve all felt depressed and many of us have even been on the verge of suicide. Maybe as members of the LGBTQ rainbow we are more susceptible to these powerfully consuming feelings. I’ve been there myself. I have felt my spirits depleting as black waves threatened to drown me. My problem was mainly attributed to my past. I struggled so much to move past the horrors of my childhood. My experiences haunted me to the point where they had made it into my subconscious and plagued my sleep as well as my waking thoughts. It’s so difficult to deal with and even more difficult to explain the raw feelings associated with it to someone else.

Imagine you are lying on the cold, hard ground and are trying so hard to get back up, trying with all your strength to push yourself back up but every time you get close you are shoved back down again by a force which you is terrifyingly stronger than you. Now look again at this scene more closely. Every time you tried to get up there was a hand reaching out to help you. It is the helping hand you need to make you unstoppable against the dark force that relentlessly propelled you down time and time again. That hand is always there, even when it is almost too dark to see it, it is still there.

In your darkest days there is always someone there ready and waiting to help. It might be an old friend, new friend or even an acquaintance. Your help may even come from an organisation designed for your needs. Nobody wants to see you suffer.

One day things will be so much better for you and you will be glad that you stuck around for these better days. I was prompted to write this post because too many people suffer in silence alone. Remember, somebody always cares.

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Comments on: "Suicide and depression can be beaten" (16)

  1. There are days when we all need affirmation that we have value. Thanks for this post. Oh by the way, YOU have value!

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    • We certainly do. It doesn’t have to be a huge thing that brings me down, sometimes it’s something almost insignificant that will tear me apart. Things have a habit of creeping up on you and hitting you exactly where it will hurt the most. When that happens I really need reminders of my value. Thank you for the affirmation and thank you for being so sweet!

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  2. magdahe said:

    Thank you for writing this.

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    • You’re very welcome. I hope you are doing okay?

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      • magdahe said:

        I’m in a great place in my life, but I’ve been in some pretty dark head spaces before. Thanks for reminding me that it’s okay to reach out for help.

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      • I know how difficult it can be to make it through the hard times but it is more than okay to reach out for help. It may seem like the hardest thing in the world to do at the time but it’s one of the best things you can do. I’m one of the worst for reaching out myself but it always helps when I eventually cave and seek the help I need! 🙂
        I’m so happy that you are in a great place in life. Long may your happiness continue!

        Liked by 1 person

  3. I’d like to add that If it feels as if there is no friendly hand reaching out to help (maybe there is, but depression and can blind us or distort our perception), I believe that there is always help and comfort from the spirit world, be it God, a Guardian Angel or Spirit Guide. I have received help from what I believe to be that Higher Power in my life during times I felt very alone, confused and depressed. Great post! Thank you for sharing.

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    • Yes, it definitely can feel that way but I believe that there is always a helping hand out there for us all. Depression is a force to be reckoned with but I think we all come out of it stronger and more appreciative of life.
      It must be so amazing to have such a firm belief in a Higher Power. Thank you too for commenting and sharing your feelings 🙂

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  4. I really enjoyed reading this post. I work with people who suffer from depression/PTSD and have suicidal thoughts. Sometimes it’s a simple gesture and a simple question like, are you ok? The odd text or call can make a big difference to someone and the act of kindness is so small.
    Thank you for sharing this part of you.

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    • I’m glad you enjoyed this. You are so right, the most simple gestures carry the most power. I have wished so many times that someone would reach out to me and show me that they cared but then I realised that I was often judging people too harshly and was holding them to expectations that were sometimes too high. I started reaching out to them and that saved me. They aren’t mind readers so how were they meant to know how much I needed them? Once they realised they were more supportive than I ever could have hoped for.

      I must applaud you for doing such meaningful work. You’re making a real difference when people need it the most and for this, I thank you so much! 🙂

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      • I agree with all you said about reaching out to people. However, we both know that can be so hard for an individual. I believe that sometimes those who really know their friends well enough will notice the changes in behaviour and mood and often asking what’s going on really helps. Some people also find it very hard to reach out and ask that question because it may seem too intrusive.

        Thank you so much for your comments. I love my job and I used to suffer from PTSD. I wrote a post called panic a few days ago about it if you’re interested. My point is we always carry our past with us and sometimes it can surprise us but learning how to cope/manage is crucial to recovery.

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      • Yes, I had so many mixed feelings about reaching out to people. I feared that I may be rejected by them or that I would be treated differently. After speaking to people I realised that they had noticed changes but were afraid that they would make things worse by confronting me on these changes.

        I couldn’t agree more with everything you’ve said. You’re clearly speaking from wisdom. I once thought that I’d never be able to move on from my past or accept it but luckily I have. I’ll have a look at that post now. I normally read all of your posts but I haven’t been on WordPress as much as usual recently so some posts have slipped through the net. Thanks so much for commenting and sharing your thoughts.

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      • I wonder if you’ve ever had a conversation with your friends/family (support network) and discussed what to do when you’re feeling low? For example the do’s and dont’s? Also whether you’ve discussed the signs to look out for when you’re starting to feel low and how you would like to be supported? If you’ve not tried this then perhaps it’s something to consider that may be useful for you.

        I aways say that once we can accept the unacceptable then we’re half way there.

        Thank you so your reply and I hope you’re having a lovely day.

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      • Thank you for the brilliant advice. I’ll put it to good use. This idea is something I hadn’t actually contemplated before now. Accepting my past was one of the greatest challenges I ever faced. It still gets to me, especially at certain times of the year, but I’m able to deal with it much better than before.
        I did have a great day, thank you. Thanks again for your lovely comments. Take care of yourself. I hope you have a great and happy week! 🙂

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      • I hope it all works out for you. Take care and have a lovely week.

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